


Sam Winchester's Complicated and Problematic Sex Life

by Lise



Series: Sam and Loki Are Roommates [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Gen, Loki's a Sassy shipper, Loki's a goddamn mess, M/M, Sam's self loathing is a character on its own, Unhealthy Relationships, implied attempted date rape, not nice people being not nice, overly involved Loki, well mostly just a Sam/non-dysfunctional relationships shipper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 19:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/613688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five Relationships of Sam’s That Loki Disapproved of, and One He Didn’t. Featuring Sam's bad luck in relationships, but at least in this universe nobody dies. (Yet.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam Winchester's Complicated and Problematic Sex Life

**Author's Note:**

> First, let me say that I'm blown away by the response this series has gotten. The positive response. I never imagined this verse would become what it has, nor did I think that anyone else would enjoy what I was doing. This is a giftmas fic for the lovely [isupportahooker](http://isupportahooker.tumblr.com), without whom this verse would not exist, who long ago requested Sam/Castiel fic in this verse. 
> 
> And then we were discussing Sam’s various relationship difficulties, and. Well. This happened. I refuse to be sorry.
> 
> As always, no real background knowledge of this verse required; Sam and Loki live together. And, as always, the entirety of this verse and bonus materials are also over at my tumblr, under the [#sam winchester is not your therapist](http://veliseraptor.tumblr.com/tagged/sam-winchester-is-not-your-therapist) tag.

**SARAH.**

“So,” Sam said, “I have a date.”

Loki looked up, the cap of his highlighter between his teeth and eyebrows raised. “Sarah again?” he said, and Sam _knew_ Loki could do subtle, he heard it all the time. That wasn’t.

He crossed his arms. “Okay,” he said. “What is your problem with her?”

Loki looked up, both his eyebrows delicately arched. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Uh huh,” Sam said. And waited. Loki did not quite fidget, but did sigh. He shut his book and set down the highlighter, stretching out in a sprawl across the couch.

“I just don’t like her.”

“Okay,” Sam said slowly, “But why?”

Loki eyed him, frowning very slightly. “I just do not. Do I need more reason than that?”

“Most people tend to.”

“As I believe we have established numerous times before, I am not ‘most people,’” Loki said airily. He lifted a hand and waved it dismissively. “But to each their own. I suppose.” Sam narrowed his eyes in Loki’s direction.

“I’d believe that more if I couldn’t practically smell the judgment coming off you.”

“Judgment? From me?” Loki pressed a hand to his chest. “I am appalled that you would think I would do such a thing.” Sam just looked at him, and Loki’s wounded expression cracked into a crooked grin. “All right, perhaps a little bit.”

“Sarah’s sweet,” Sam protested. “She’s decent, she’s smart, she’s funny – what don’t you like about her?”

“I don’t believe in having a reason for disliking people,” Loki said, almost silkily. “Sometimes one just does. Does that never happen to you?”

“No,” said Sam, and then thought about that. “—okay, maybe, but there’s usually _something._ ”

Loki considered that. “She is…cheerful,” he said, finally. “And smiles too often.”

“Dude,” said Sam, giving him an odd look, “You realized how messed up that sounds, right?”

“You know how I feel about energetic, happy people.” Loki gave Sam a strange look, suddenly, sidelong. “Why does this matter to you so much? I am not overfond of your girlfriend. _I_ am not the one dating her.” He paused. “Only I would perhaps rather you did not bring her home while I am present. Advance warning would be sufficient.”

Sam was not entirely sure if Loki was joking or not. He suspected the proportion was about half. “Your opinion matters to me?” He said blankly, and Loki’s eyes flicked to him, something briefly perplexed in his gaze. A moment later it was smoothed away.

“Well,” Loki said haughtily. “I have told you what I think.”

“That you just don’t like her.” Sam rubbed his forehead. “Okay. Duly noted.”

Loki plucked up his book again, though Sam thought he caught his roommate watching him out of the corner of his eye. “Good,” he said silkily. “I simply can’t have you associating with people of a less than savory nature. It’ll reflect poorly on me.”

Sam mimed throwing something at Loki’s head.

* * *

They broke up relatively amiably a few weeks later. According to Sarah, they were ‘looking for different things.’ “Oh,” said Loki blandly, when Sam broke the news. “I see.”

“You’re not even pretending to be sympathetic,” Sam accused.

“No,” Loki agreed, and turned a smile over his shoulder. “Should I be?”

**RUBY.**

Ruby, it occurred to Sam sometimes, was the kind of girl he would have been terrified of in high school. She was smart, she was sexy, she was confident and had an edge on her to rival Loki’s. Being with Ruby was like being on a rollar-coaster. Exhiliarating and sometimes a little alarming.

Loki hated her. “She’s a manipulative bitch,” he’d said after five minutes talking to her the first time. Sam was indignant.

“Some people might say the same thing about you,” he’d snapped without thinking about it, and Loki had treated him to the cold shoulder for a full week before relenting, even without Sam apologizing. Though he continued to take on a remarkably tight expression whenever her name was so much as mentioned.

Ruby’s tendency to drop by unanounced didn’t help either. Like today, when Sam was only half dressed and scrambling to get the rest of the way ready before Ruby and Loki ripped each other apart. Thus, brushing his teeth in the kitchen where he could keep an eye on both of them.

“Hey, sugar,” Ruby purred. “How’s tricks?” Sam swore he felt the temperature drop. Loki did not look up from his book.

“Fabulously, thank you. Aren’t they waiting for you on the corner of Fifth and Madison?”

“Why,” Ruby asked, smirking, “Looking for some new customers?”

 _Jesus Christ,_ Sam thought. “Ruby,” he said, unnecessarily loudly, spitting out a mouthful of toothpaste. “We should probably-”

“Aww,” Ruby said, turning a pout on him, “You’re not going to let me catch up with my favorite misanthrope?” Loki’s eyes lifted and fixed on Ruby.

“Yes, by all means, Sam,” he said icily. “There is no need to rush. I am always happy to chat with such a charming specimen of womanhood.”

“I’d return the compliment,” Ruby said, dropping comfortably into a chair, “But I wouldn’t want to be dishonest. How’s that brother of yours?”

Sam could almost see Loki’s hackles go up. “I wouldn’t know. I very seldom find his company to my liking. How about your ex? Is she out of prison yet?” Ruby’s smile froze for just a second. Sam fought the powerful urge to bang his head against a wall and dropped his toothbrush in the sink, hurrying over to nudge Ruby’s shoulder.

“Come on,” he said, “I’m hungry, let’s go get lunch."

“We haven’t been in touch. What about you? You got a girlfriend, Loki? Or a boyfriend?”

“No.” Loki smiled thinly. “I haven’t yet found anyone of _interest._ ”

“That’s too bad. You’ve got such a _winning_ personality.” Sam’s eyes flicked down at the small motion at the corner of his eye, and found Loki’s fingers digging into the couch cushion, knuckles white.

“I suppose it can’t be so hard,” he said, with the glib smile that practically screamed warnings. “You managed it, after all.” Sam had the powerful urge to throw up his hands and leave both of them there to rip each other to shreds, but that was just…Sam not being a morning person talking.

“Loki,” he said, and stopped. Loki didn’t so much as glance his way.

“Oooh,” said Ruby, her grin widening. “Ouch. Come on, Sam, are you going to let him talk to me that way?”

“Would both of you just,” Sam started to say, and forced himself to take a deep breath. “Ruby. We’re leaving.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” she said, turning and sauntering over to kiss him. “I’m ready.” Sam glanced over at Loki as she tugged him toward the door and found his expression closed and taut.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Sam said after the door had closed behind them.

“Oh,” she said with a little laugh, “But it’s so much _fun,_ ” and Sam was pretty sure those were good butteflies. Pretty sure.

* * *

Sam felt like absolute shit. Over the worst of it, maybe, but…still. Like shit. He was pretty sure he’d puked on his roommate at least once. It was amazing Loki was still there. Maybe he was just waiting until Sam’d recovered a bit more to find a new roommate. “I fucked up,” he said, weakly.

“Yes,” Loki agreed, “You did.”

Sam didn’t look up at him. “I should’ve known.”

“Yes.” Loki’s voice was merciless. “Probably.” Sam buried his face in shaking hands, and after a moment Loki’s hand landed lightly on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said, quieter, and Sam tried to think that it would be okay.

**BRADY.**

To say that Loki hated Brady was an unfair overstatement. He didn’t hate Brady. Loki reserved his hate, by and large, for people he found truly despicable. Loki looked at Brady with a mixture mostly of mild disgust and pronounced disdain, as he might have for a half squished insect on the sidewalk.

And that wasn’t an overstatement.

“It is like,” Loki said, “I am walking on solid ground, and suddenly I step and there is a bog, sucking my foot under and it is moist and smelly and seeps into one’s shoes and socks, and lingers for the rest of the day. That is what it is like, every time I speak to him.”

“Ouch,” Sam said.

“It’s _true,_ ” Loki insisted. “An entirely accurate description. He makes my skin crawl.”

“He’s not that bad,” Sam tried to protest. Loki cast him a look that was thoroughly disparaging. “Hey,” Sam objected. “Don’t look at me like that. He _isn’t._ ”

“I cannot fathom what you see in him,” Loki said, with a little toss of his head. “Nor ever will, I think.”

“You just don’t like anyone I date,” Sam accused. Loki looked affronted.

“That’s not in the _least_ true.”

“Name one person I’ve dated that you haven’t had at the very least irrational disdain for.”

Loki opened his mouth, and then closed it. “—fine,” he said, after a few moments. “You may have a point. Nonetheless, I maintain that he just – gives me a bad feeling.”

Sam grimaced. He could give Loki that; he’d thought Brady was weird, maybe even a little creepy, when they’d first met. Not anymore, but he could at least understand where that was coming from. “You hardly even know him.”

“I don’t need to,” Loki said, firmly. “Reading people is what I _do._ Have you ever noticed that he doesn’t speak to me?”

“Probably because you obviously hate the poor guy,” Sam said, with no small amount of asperity. “Loki. Seriously. I don’t know what your deal is, but you sound like a jealous girlfriend.”

“Boyfriend,” Loki corrected, “And don’t be absurd.” From anyone else, that would have sounded like denial. From Loki it was just fact. He glanced away. “I just don’t like him. Need I? But you did ask what I thought of him.”

“You know,” Sam said after a moment. “If you’re…worried, or something, you could just say so.”

Loki made a noise like he was choking on something. “—worried! Of course not. I am not your minder. I would not _want_ that duty.” Sam smiled a little bit crookedly.

“Yeah, cause you never worry.”

Loki flushed, very slightly. “As though you can chide anyone for worrying.” That was…fair. Sam sighed and shook his head.

“God,” he said. “I swear you’re like my overprotective mother or something. I don’t need two, I’ve already got Dean.”

“Dean is your overprotective mother,” Loki said, sounding almost offended. “I am your shotgun father. There is a _distinct_ difference.”

* * *

Sam came out of that relationship with a headache and most of his evening missing. Brady came out of it with a concussion and a badly sprained wrist. Sam was pretty sure Brady’d been lucky. Loki was even more snappish than usual for a week.

He did not say _I told you so._

“Thanks,” he said, to the back of Loki’s head where he was staring at a single page suspiciously fixedly. “For looking out for me.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Loki said primly, and Sam half opened his mouth, and then let it go.

**MADISON.  
**

It was Madison’s misfortune that Loki was in a bad mood when Sam brought her back to the apartment for the first time. Sam’s bad luck (poor decisions, said Loki) in relationships was at that point a running joke; Sam said it was because Loki chased off all the good ones and Loki said he would have a civil conversation with his brother before Sam managed to bring home a date he would approve of.

But Madison was Madison. Smart, gorgeous, easygoing, and absolutely not a trainwreck waiting to happen. And she’d even taken his worried disclaimers that his roommate was not a people person (really, really not a people person) in stride.

He knocked before coming in, as he had become used to doing since walking in on Loki _in flagrante delicto_ for no apparent reason (and, of course, utterly unselfconscious about it), and then stepped inside. “Hey, Loki,” he called. “Come and meet Madison – remember I’ve told you about her?”

Loki’s voice drifted from down the hall. “Once or twice, I think, yes. Your newest error of judgment?”

Sam glanced at Madison over his shoulder, who was hovering just outside the door. She made a face at him, and Sam grimaced and shrugged. “Don’t be an asshole.”

“Oh, but it’s a constant state of being.” Loki emerged from the hallway and leaned against the wall, the picture of casual indifference. “Like your perennial inability to recognize a bad thing when you see one. Hello, Madison. Charmed, I’m sure.”

Madison was looking back and forth between Sam and Loki, her expression somewhat incredulous. Sam was used to that look. He got it from most people meeting Loki for the first time.  But she drew herself up and gamely stepped forward, holding out a hand. “Nice to meet you too. Heard a lot about you from Sam.”

Loki looked at her hand for a moment as though he wasn’t sure what to do with it, and then gave it a quick shake. “Mm. Mostly warnings, I’m sure. Well, I’m afraid I have a paper to write and cannot entertain you two lovebirds.”

Sam felt a probably uncharitable surge of relief. He could read a bad mood when he saw one, though, and Loki’s bad moods tended to bode poorly for anyone in the immediate vicinity. And then Loki smiled that slightly sharp smile that made Sam’s heart sink a little and asked, “You wouldn’t mind my working out here, would you? A bit of noise helps me focus.”

Sam sighed, and then gave Loki his best stinkeye, which Loki, of course, ignored. “No,” he said, just a little acidly. “I don’t mind.” Madison was giving him an odd look again. Sam pretended not to notice.

They ended up watching a soap on Sam’s laptop, although they stopped _watching,_ strictly speaking, about halfway through episode two. Sam swore he could feel Loki’s eyes on him, but whenever he glanced over Loki looked hard at work.

Madison had to head out two hours later, politely said goodbye to Loki (who lifted a hand in what looked more like a wave of dismissal than farewell) and gave Sam a quick kiss and a grin. When the door closed behind her, Sam turned on Loki and crossed his arms.

“Well?”

“Mmm?” Loki said, hand pausing its busy scrawl across the page. For some reason Sam could never quite fathom, Loki insisted on handwriting all of his essays first.

“Evaluation complete? Did she pass? Thanks, at least, for not making any _audible_ snarky commentary, though don’t think-”

Loki set down his pencil and looked up. “Do you want my opinion or do you just want to be irritated with me?”

“I want you to stop sticking your nose in my business,” Sam snapped, and then frowned. Paused. “Yes,” he said reluctantly. Loki’s face remained placid, to all appearances completely untroubled.

“She’s brittle. Not in…dangerously so. She’ll hurt you if you’re not careful, and you never are.”

Sam blinked, and then laughed. “Madison? _Dangerous?_ Look, I get my track record’s not great, but Madison’s a great girl.”

“Your track record’s not great,” Loki agreed, “And have I been wrong yet?”

Sam pressed his lips together. Loki might have had a point. Maybe. “First time for everything,” he said, finally, without as much conviction as he wanted to have.

“I give it two weeks,” Loki said grimly. Sam gave him a sharp look.

“Why do you always have to be so _negative_?”

“I am fully in favor of your finding a relationship that does not crash and burn like a particularly spectacular train wreck,” Loki said, not looking up. “But I know what I see. I give it two weeks. And I suggest you break it off before then.”

Sam gritted his teeth, feeling a surge of annoyance. “Mind your own business.”

Loki shrugged. “Your emotional breakdowns do tend to become my business. But as you wish. I will not mention it again.”

“Good,” said Sam shortly, and headed for his room. “Thanks.”

* * *

Sam flopped down on the couch, feeling wretched and low. “You weren’t wrong,” he said finally, to the apparently inattentive Loki. “Off by a week, I guess.”

A long silence. “I’m not pleased to be right about these things, you know,” Loki said, finally. “Sometimes I would sooner you had stayed with Sarah. Much as I disliked her, at least she didn’t hurt you.”

Sam let out a dry laugh. “Yeah, I sure know how to pick them.”

“Or else they know how to pick you.” Loki looked up from his book, finally, and cast a surveying gaze over Sam. He closed it with a snap and stood up. “I’m getting out the chessboard. Let’s see if you’ve gotten any better since last time we played.”

Sam groaned. “You think that’ll make me feel _better?_ ” he said, but couldn’t quite keep himself from smiling, just a little. That was Loki for you.

And sometimes it really was the thought that counted.

**LUCIFER.**

Sam wouldn’t admit it to himself, but he’d been stalling on introducing Loki and Nick to each other. Thinking reasonably, he thought Nick and Loki might like each other. But there was something that just made him nervous about the whole idea, nervous and defensive and okay, maybe that wasn’t so weird, considering Loki’s track record with Sam’s significant others.

(It wasn’t, some part of his brain pointed out, like Loki hadn’t been right half the time. About Ruby, and Brady, and even sort of Madison. Whatever his other faults, Loki was good at seeing people, and Sam sometimes wondered, when he thought about it, what he was worried Loki would see in Nick. Because he couldn’t deny that Nick did sometimes make him nervous, not in any real definite way, just…vaguely. Kind of.

Sam was most definitely not mentioning that to Loki.)

But they’d been dating for almost two weeks, and Sam was starting to feel bad about putting it off. “Introducing you to Loki is a little like running the gauntlet,” Sam told Nick, sitting on the couch in their apartment. “He probably won’t like you. Don’t take it personally.”

Nick had looked faintly amused. “I wouldn’t think to,” he said, and then leaned in closer and gave Sam a sharp little smile. “Besides, as though he could chase me away from you.”

“We should probably not,” Sam started to say, a little weakly, but Nick closed the difference between them and pulled Sam’s head back by the hair, lips fixing to his throat.

Someone cleared their throat loudly and Sam jerked, eyes darting over Nick’s shoulder. Loki was standing in the doorway and raising extremely skeptical eyebrows. “—you’re home early,” he managed. “Um, Nick-”

“My last class was canceled. Funny, how these little surprises happen.” Loki’s voice was nearly toneless. Nick pulled back, his eyes on Sam amused. Sam avoided that expression, feeling his face heat up rapidly. Loki’s eyebrows crept up another notch.

“Uh – yeah. Anyway. I was meaning to…um, introduce you.”

Nick sat up and stretched his legs out, throwing one arm over Sam’s shoulder. “Hope we haven’t bothered you,” he said, sounding anything but concerned about it. Loki’s eyes narrowed faintly and then relaxed.

“Were you,” Loki said to Sam, ignoring Nick, and Sam resisted the urge to wince.

“This is Nick,” Sam said, almost hopefully, and tried to communicate a warning mentally, _please don’t…be yourself._ Loki crossed his arms with a noticeably cool expression, but at least it was devoid of that particular brand of irritated haughtiness that tended to mean he was about to verbally eviscerate someone.

“We’ve met.”

Sam blinked. “You have?” He glanced at Nick, who gave him a warm, casual smile.

“Oh, only briefly. I’d hardly call it much of a meeting.”

“Enough of one.” Loki’s voice was dangerously cool. Something was crackling weirdly between the two of them, and Sam shifted slightly awkwardly.

“Um…okay. Well. That’s good, then, everybody knows each other. Loki, we were planning on hanging out here for a little bit, maybe watching a movie…”

“I can hardly object.” Loki hadn’t glanced away from Nick once, like if he looked away he might pounce, or something.

“Okay,” Sam said, slowly. “I’ll just go grab some DVDs, um, Nick, you wanna…”

“No, no,” Nick said. His mouth was curved in a very slight smile that was making Sam just a little nervous. “I’ll stay out here, catch up with Loki. It’s been a while.”

“Indeed it has.”

Sam glanced back and forth between them, and ultimately decided that they wouldn’t kill each other in five minutes. Probably. Or at least that he would hear it happening.

He spent longer than expected hunting for his DVDs, but kept one ear towards the living room and he couldn’t hear any yelling, so he figured things were still okay. At least until he emerged from his room and was coming down the hall and heard Nick’s voice, still mild and quiet.

“So suspicious. What do you think I’m going to do to him?”

“I have no idea nor do I wish to find out,” Loki said, his voice nearly a hiss. “Whatever nefarious intentions you have-”

Sam stepped out into the living room as Nick laughed. “Nefarious intentions! What am I, a B-movie villain? –ah, Sam. Have I ever struck you as having nefarious intentions?”

“No,” Sam said, after a moment, and then frowned. “What are you even…how _do_ you guys know each other?”

“Unimportant,” Loki said, sharply. “Sam, this man is dangerous.”

“So I am,” Nick said, and snapped his teeth in Sam’s direction. “I bite.” Sam flushed without wanting to.

“For fuck’s sake,” Loki said, sounding almost nervous, “He was charged with-“

“I know,” Sam said, grimacing. “I already…he told me.” He fidgeted slightly, feeling suddenly guilty. He’d handled this all wrong. “We talked about it.”

“It wasn’t a great time in my life,” Nick said, and sighed. “But you of all people should know that people change, Loki. I’ve straightened out. And I’m not going to do anything stupid.”

Loki looked back and forth between them, and his eyes settled on Sam. “He’s lying,” Loki said flatly.

“I’m not,” Nick said, gently, before Sam could interrupt. “I care a lot about Sam. I would _never_ hurt him.” Loki’s eyes snapped to Nick’s face. 

 “You want to tell me you have his best intentions at heart?” Loki said. Sam had never heard quite that tone from him, vibrating with a kind of rage that had passed homicidal and verged on the world destroying. “Is that what you intend to say?No. No, I don’t _think_ so. You haven’t _good_ intentions in your body let alone the best-”

“Loki,” Sam tried to say. They both ignored him, that almost-electricity back to crackling between them. Sam wondered if he put some paper between them if it would light on fire.

Nick’s voice, in contrast, was calm and level. “I do. I don’t know why you’ve got this idea that I’m some kind of psycho, but-”

“ _Why?_ ” Loki laughed, shrilly. “Because I can _see_ it. Because I know what it looks like, because _I’m_ ‘some kind of psycho’ and I am not going to let you hurt Sam!”

“Goddammit, guys, I’m right here,” Sam tried to say, only to again be ignored. “Loki, come on, this isn’t-”

“I’m not the one hurting him,” Nick said, and there was the anger coming out. “I’m not the one who’s a constant emotional drain, an emotional burden, why don’t you _back off_ and let Sam make his own choices, huh?”

“Nick,” said Sam, sharply, “That’s enough,” and reached out for Nick’s shoulder. He wheeled, and Sam almost jerked back, something on his boyfriend’s face that he hardly even recognized. A moment later it was gone, though, and he just looked upset.

“I don’t make you unhappy, do I?” he asked, sounding worried. Sam blinked.

“No,” he said, “No, uh, you don’t, but-”

“There you have it,” said Nick, to Loki, whose expression had gone opaque. “ _Sam’s_ not unhappy. Why is it your job to decide what’s best for him?”

Sam looked to his roommate, who was staring at him with eyes narrowed and something faintly pleading in his gaze. Sam looked away. “Loki,” he said, “I’m fine.”

Loki’s eyes flicked back and forth between them, and then his expression closed off the rest of the way. “So it would seem,” he said, finally, and then turned and stalked down the hallway, closing the door to his room too quietly behind him. Sam looked after him, worried.

“Maybe I should,” he started to say, but Nick cut him off.

“No,” he said. “It’ll be fine. Give him some time to sulk.” He slung his arm around Sam’s shoulders, loose but still somehow heavy and possessive. “I don’t want to stay here anymore. Let’s you and me go somewhere nice. My treat.”

* * *

So it turned out Nick was the worst choice he’d ever made. In a life of bad choices, the worst.

It took him about a month to figure out. A month and Dean beaten damn badly, Sam’s self esteem in shreds.

Loki came and kept him company in the hospital, even though it obviously made him twitchy, while Sam waited for Dean’s head injury to get cleared. Loki had been oddly quiet, seething under his skin, Sam thought. Sam half wanted to apologize, but wasn’t sure how that would go: sorry for my shit taste in significant others?

“You deserve better,” said Loki, suddenly, not looking at Sam. Sam blinked tiredly in his direction.

“Um. Thanks?”

“I don’t care what you think,” Loki said, a little more firmly. “I know that you deserve better.” He stood, brushed his hands off on his pants. “Do you want any coffee?”

Sam sighed, and rubbed his face. “Sure,” he said, after a moment. Loki paused.

“And it wasn’t your fault,” he added, and then was striding off down the hallway. Sam looked after him, thoughtful. _Yeah,_ he thought, _there goes a psychopath._  

They’d get it together eventually.

**CAS.**

Sam brought Castiel home because they were working together on a lab. Loki was stretched out on his couch, and glanced up. His eyes flicked back and forth between them and he began to frown very slightly.

“This is Cas,” Sam said, perhaps a little too quickly. “He’s here to work with me on a project.”

“Is that so,” said Loki, voice impressively bland. Cas, fortunately, was more than a little oblivious and didn’t seem to notice.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, solemnly. “I’ve heard about you but never had the chance to be introduced.”

Sam winced as he saw Loki tense. “I’m sure you’ve heard some interesting stories,” he said, acidly polite. “It’s so _nice_ to be…famous.”

Cas seemed confused, for a moment. “…I’m afraid I don’t know what stories you’re talking about,” he said, finally, sounding genuinely regretful. “I only meant – good things. Sam speaks highly of you, as does Gabriel.”

Loki looked taken aback. His eyes flicked back to Sam, and then he donned a small smile, something faintly uncertain about it. “—does he? That does come as a surprise. As for Sam…by now you have surely realized his unfortunate tendency to think altogether too well of his fellow man.”

Sam grimaced, but Castiel frowned, looking puzzled again. “I have noticed no such thing,” he said, and then added, “If anything he seems inclined to think too poorly of himself.”

“Hey!” Sam objected, startled, and Castiel didn’t look at him, definitely pink. Loki laughed, though, the small huff that said he wasn’t sure it was permitted but that he was still amused.

“You cannot deny the truth of that,” Loki said, and then settled back. “Well, don’t let me disturb you. You have work to be done.”

He stayed quiet while they worked through their lab report, but Sam could not be unaware of Loki’s eyes on the back of his neck. When Castiel left, he turned around at once, and glowered in Loki’s direction. He was reading from his book again, unconvincingly innocent.

“Seriously,” Sam said, starting to be a little annoyed. “You need to stop-”

“I like him,” Loki said, without looking up. Sam blinked, thoroughly taken off guard.

“What?”

“Have you begun to go hard of hearing? If so, I fully intend to blame your brother.”

“No, just-” Sam shook his head. “You like him?”

“Mm,” said Loki. “Well. Like might be a bit strong, I suppose.” Sam fought the urge to gape at him and did not quite manage to succeed. “But he seems…decent.”

“High praise,” Sam drawled, except that, from Loki, it kind of was. “I’m…uh, glad you like him, I guess. He’s a friend. And he’ll be over a few more times to finish off this project.”

“I do not mind.” Loki glanced up, finally, and met Sam’s eyes. “When he asks you on a date, you should say yes,” he said, with absolute confidence and perfect serenity. Sam blinked, and then spluttered a laugh.

“Cas? Ask me on a date? You’ve gotta be joking.”

“Mmm.” Loki’s eyes returned to his book. “I am just saying.”

Sam held his ground. “He’s not going to ask me on a date.” Loki didn’t respond, except to smile, just a little. “He’s _not,_ ” Sam insisted.

“Why,” Loki asked, suddenly, and that tone of voice should have warned Sam but didn’t. “Is he too good for you?” Sam’s jaw dropped, and he stared at his roommate. Loki closed his book, finally, with a snap. “I am very seldom wrong about these things. It is, of course, none of my business, but if he asks you out and you turn him down because he does not meet your standards of unpleasantness, I am going to rip off your left arm and beat you around the head and neck with it. And now I am going to class.”

Loki swept regally out the door before Sam could come up with a response.

Sam stared after him, feeling a little shell-shocked. _That’s ridiculous,_ he told himself. _Cas just likes you as a friend._

Dating, though. That was just silly.

And gave him a curious warm feeling in his chest.

* * *

“So,” Sam said, “I have a date.”

Loki’s rapidly typing fingers paused, but he did not look up from his screen. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” Sam said, and couldn’t catch the near belligerence in time. “It is.” Loki smirked and went back to typing.

“And who is it this time?” he asked, voice faintly derisive in a way that made Sam bristle. “Some empty-headed, vapid-”

“It’s Cas,” Sam snapped, and  realized too late that he’d been baited when Loki’s eyes lifted from his screen and he had an expression of faintly pleased gratification on his face.

“What did I say?” he said, and stretched. “Well. I’m sure you shall have a lovely time.”

Sam couldn’t help but feel a smile tugging at his mouth. “So I have your approval and permission, _dad?_ ”

“And blessing,” Loki said, and sounded nearly fond, for just a moment, before he added, “Don’t forget to use a condom. I’m not supporting any kids you have before you’re out of college.”

Sam flipped him off, and Loki laughed and closed his computer. Sam crossed the room and flopped down on his chair.

“So,” he said, too brightly, “When am I going to hear about you and Rogers?” Loki flushed, very faintly, and threw a pillow at him.

Yeah. They’d work this life thing out.


End file.
